Podcastathon: The Art of After: Returning to Life after Loss

Intro: we were antagonizing him during a meeting yesterday just being so foolish I think that’s the first time I have laughed and it was it was we I needed it just so it was worth it so I brought in some uh little presents for tell everyone about Jeff so we should get him we should have brought him over so I’ll go get him okay tell everyone about Jeff I’ll go get him

Kristy: I’m going to trust that Tim knows what he’s talking about with the camera because um

Anna-Lynn: here’s hoping

Kristy: here’s hoping for the best you didn’t comment on my pom pom

Anna-Lynn: I it’s because I’ve been obsessed with them and just like moth to Flame staring at them

Kristy: thanks

Anna-Lynn: there weren’t any words I could think of

Kristy: yeah I understand I understand

Anna-Lynn: I love them

Kristy: well we’re back ah so we’ve been gone we have for quite a bit of time that was an accident yeah uh that was an accident so we are back finally uh hopefully for good um new versions of us and the podcast I would say yeah we uh gave ourselves time so Jokes Aside my dad died really bad time uh and instead of like pushing through that cuz that was not not happening uh we just took a break cuz needed a break yeah we had talked about possibly I didn’t silence my phone

Anna-Lynn: oh good job we had talked about um trying to continue it because before you were on bereavement leave you were doing it pretty much all by yourself because I was on medical leave

Kristy: Yes

Anna-Lynn: from a big chunk of time and had surgery and a bumpy recovery and um so when it looked like you were you really needed to take time off we were like there’s just this is like the Universe telling us to just take a break take a pause and we’ll get back to it when we’re whole again
Kristy: well and this is not like any other work we do it’s this requires having Soul like light in your eyes and the light completely died out of my eyes like I could not even now I’m like this is like the first week that I have not felt like dying and like sitting here and being able to even be any sort of level of charismatic and want to talk about anything this is not happening before now and so it was it was a lot it’s been a lot of pressure because I was so dedicated to like getting out a podcast episode every single week for a lot of reasons because we promised that and also because getting a podcast launched in the first place has been it’s been hard and part of it is like I knew that getting like episodes out routinely was going to make a big difference in analytics and growth so I was scared like that dropping that was going to you lose the momentum that lose the momentum lead to failure people being like look they were never serious in the first place like all that and and ultimately it had to just be like I don’t care my dad is dead like I we have to just like regroup regroup and take time to regroup so yeah we just we been regrouping and we’re going to come back a new with new things so yeah we wanted to talk about um a little bit talk about what we’ve been dealing with talk about why this episode in particular is special yes um and significant for both of us and also the new things that we have come up with new ideas and how the podcast is changing and so why don’t we first talk about what why this episode in particular is special yes so um this week is we um agreed to be a part of a podcast ofon so um we are sponsoring the American Cancer Society which that is uh super significant for both of us because my dad just died of cancer your mom passed away also from cancer two two years ago so it’s uh um it’s close to both of us especially right now so it was exciting that we got to pick something like that uh for the podcast to sponsor um and so we thought like this was the perfect week to come back come back swinging so yeah and talk a little bit about how um cancer affected not just our personal life but our work life yes um what helped us when we did come back to work um because there are a lot of people who are currently in the middle of it yes or this is you know the days are coming when they’re going to be at the point that we were at yeah and I don’t I don’t know I don’t think I’m going to say like who but we also have someone who works here who also is struggling with cancer um so it’s close to other people in the office yeah it’s touched a lot of the people in our office and I think it touches a lot of people in general but um just kind of tying that back into working and marketing is kind of just like when we’ve talked about this before like life just does not stop for you and doesn’t really matter like if you have cancer and someone that you love most in the world is going to die it’s like life and work and marketing goes on like with or without you it’s a weird I I remember thinking that when I came back to work after my mom died that I felt like I had jet lag MH I don’t know if it felt like that for you but but I felt like I was living the same day as my co-workers in the same hours but I was behind yeah and there was no easy way to catch up and like they were all living in the present but I was still with the dead yeah and I wasn’t alive again yet you know I was still with carrying so much of my mom and her passing and so it was just hard not to feel that jet lag and try to try to work through it you’re like working in slow motion and feeling like I’m never GNA get back to where I was yeah I think for me I I feel similar to that I feel like it was just and I think I’m still there to a degree I’m definitely still there to a degree and I I think it’s less it’s definitely less severe but it’s been like just an anger of like I don’t care about any of this crap yeah like a bike puts things in P I’m just like I don’t I don’t care about anything else and I don’t like it it just it put you know it just puts you in that head space and so it’s hard to get yourself back to like I have to care I have to I have to start getting back to caring and it’s hard to transition and and it’s a forc transition when you work for someone other than than yourself because the average bement leave is like 3 to 5 days M yeah and how much of that time after someone you love dies is being taken up by the Practical you know aspects of someone dying paperwork organizing a funeral right um taking care of expenses like going through things you don’t have time to just sit with your loss or to process it and then immediately from doing that you you’re back to work and while people might you know give you a card or a bunch of flowers yeah the expectation is okay time to get back to work yeah you’ve got to be on you’ve got to switch gears and okay that happened yeah this is what needs to happen now yeah and no normal human being can make that shift not fast quick yeah and I think if you’re you’re the head of the company you need to be a human about it yeah um and recognize that you’re not going to get the best from your people immediately after they come back um you need time to process it yeah we were both so fortunate like looking for bill because he’s just is the most most understanding and the most gracious he was fantastic when when my mom passed I went from originally I was going to he was like take a week and I was like okay that that should be that should be good um but I went from uh my sisters and brother and family we provided my mom with her hospice care which if you’re considering doing that side note here

don’t really think about that yeah because I don’t know if a word exists to

encapsulate what that does to you yeah um but I went from providing her hospice care and then when I drove home the morning she died I came home and my husband and my daughter had 102 fevers and they were both wicked sick and I was just I think I slept maybe an hour because I’d been up for 30 hours and I slept for a couple hours and then it was right back into caregiving y for most of that week y until my husband could go back to work and then I still had a sick kid and then I got sick y and so then I was supposed to start work yeah you hadn’t even time I haven’t even landed yet yeah and Bill take more time yeah let me know when you’re ready to come back yeah which he didn’t even put a number of on it yeah and I know that’s I know that’s rare I you know I know most companies aren’t going to do that but it was such a gift because I was so unsorted and not okay MH and that gave me time to go do the things that I needed to do to even think about showing up in the office again or get in front of my laptop again yeah so yeah yeah I feel like I had a pretty similar experience because I had to take off time because I knew my dad was going to die we had a timeline for it like I had time I had to take off time before I was his primary caregiver and so I had to take off time before and then also after um and I just it took me a long time to wean back into it and um I feel like it was more of a weaning back in for me rather than just like I’m ready to start again it was more like I think I’m going to try like a day or two like or a few hours like this week and be a jerk to everybody in the office like just everyone leave me in my space so far me and I feel like it’s fine like I went on I went on a matter I went on a couple matter reports I went on a matterport to Boston like like my it was like my first day back I went on a matterport to Boston and um I did matterport and droned and that was really good for me because it was kind of you know that’s a very like active creative role for me and the client that I worked with like I’ve worked with him for years and he KN he knew all about what he’s known me forever so he’s known everything that’s been going on with me and my dad and so when he first saw saw me and like he gave me a hug and he just like asked all about what was going on and he was just like super kind and that really helped and I did my thing I did my Mod part I did my drone and it felt really good I was just like yeah I know how to do this like this is I’m good at this yes I needed it and it didn’t take away anything that I was dealing with but it was a break for a few hours and after I do matterport I always have like what I feel like is a matterport high after I’m done like I love my drive back from matterport so um that felt really good I felt accomplished I feel like I did something helpful productive and productive for bill on the company and so like it was just like that was a little drop in so that was helpful and um I think that’s a good point too like if you have someone that is out for bereavement welcome them back with a task that they can do in their sleep yeah like put them on an assignment or a project that is not going to be a heavy lift and that they can ease back into and that will kind of give them that assurance that they know what they’re doing and that they can handle it again because I know for both of us coming back it it was like can I can I can I even do this can I apply enough of my brain to get this right for the client you know so putting them on something that just is more of a muscle memory for them and not like a big ask yeah I think is really important yeah um because that also can be um kind of a stress reducer for the person coming back too if they know they’re not going to immediately be in this High Press situation when just showing up when just getting themselves ready in the morning is going to feel like yeah the climax of the day and like yeah all they can do yeah so yeah I think those will really help yeah they they really helped us and another thing I know that helped both of us is finding um creative Outlets yes in the sense of like finding other people’s creative work um and kind of dialing into that as creative people leaning on it to help us kind of refill that part of our selves that is so necessary for the jobs that we do yeah so tell us a little bit about yeah so I brought I brought mine it’s a little bit of a showand tell so yeah and I want to like name drop and I want to name drop I brought all my books so I my favorite main photographer that I know you love too is s Harvey she’s the main photographer and I am a collector of all her books and all of them are signed um so yeah I discovered her a long time ago there’s something about her photography that I just love just I I don’t know what it is but I just like I’m obsessed with her I have been for years and so I collect her books and so I’ve had I’ve had um I think I’m only missing one actually Sig if you’re listening there’s one I’m missing I don’t remember which one it is it’s none of these um so anyway um I had I had I I months back I saw that she was coming out with a new one I pre-ordered it and in the middle of my um grief uh it came in the mail and it was on a week on a day where I was just in a really bad head space and I I got it and I sat with it and I I flipped through it and I just kind of had this like cathartic like um I don’t know if you’re if you’re any kind of creative person if you’re any kind of you don’t even have to be a photographer you you you just understand the creative brain um in any way I just felt this spark back in me and after feeling truly so I so dead inside for for months like I really understand the the meaning of like having no light behind your eyes that is how I felt for months and I’m not going to cry as I talk about it because that is how I felt and it was like I felt a spark of a light again for a second and I felt like yeah I want to get back to it like I I think that maybe like going out and taking some pictures might might make me feel better like I I suddenly have a desire to do that again um and just flipping and just as I flipped through it I was like yeah I got to get I got to I know for my healing I’ve got to get back out there and do it um and fortunately because I I love like droning and and videography like as a hobby and I also do that for work it’s it helps because that doing that on my personal time then makes me excited to come back to work and so um there was a there was a weekend super cold but um over like where my mom lives every year they do a um ice fishing derby and the in the like the the town Facebook page they talked about doing it and I was like I’m going to go drone it I just feel like that’s a really simple thing for me to do the town will love it um that will that’s something I’ve never done that will be really fun I’ve always wanted to drone on the ice and so after seeing this like I took my drone up there and I um I took my sister and we Jed it and it was just a little thing but I felt really good about it and it was like after that it was like my brain started rewiring toward like this is good for you this feels good like like the grief hang out it’s it’s still there but it’s kind of like these are the things that make you feel better and like it’s okay to spend time doing them again and you know one of the things I cannot talk about this too much cuz I will cry but one of the things that my dad told me before he died is like it will help you to get back to work and so I’m like for several weeks I was like I do not think that’s going to be true I don’t think I can do that but I’m starting to feel that again so like this was my like creative Outlet spark and I know that that has to be true of other people like whether it’s like a poem you read or um could be anything and suddenly yeah you want to get back into it too not even if you’re going through grief but sometimes you’re just like in a rut and you’re just like what like what is it that Sparks you yeah and helps you it’s a you know yeah well it’s a collaboration yeah in a sense I feel like the same was true for me after my mom passed away um but it was words that helped me which is strange to me because I was a photographer for years and you know I thought maybe I just need to go walk through a museum but I’ve always needed to I’ve always what I’ve always appreciated about writing I’ve been a writer first photographer second my whole life and anytime something bad has happened in my life I’ve needed to get it outside of myself in order to dissect it and figure out what it is and what it or or what it was was and before I found a place for it um or maybe just didn’t need to find a place for it but just to get rid of it but um a lot of times you know the stuff that you you can’t completely set down some memories or people or you have to find a way to define it before you can make the space for it and so for me um I would read a lot of I after my mom I read a lot of my my favorite authors like I love Paul auster um and he was very helpful to me specifically um a lot of his poetry specifically not his fiction but um just seeing someone else putting their pain into words yeah because for a long time I just I couldn’t I couldn’t put it into words it didn’t feel like there were words big enough and then I so I brought a book that helped me too I was in a bookstore kind of just wandering um and I saw this book it’s called Everything Is teeth by Eevee wild and as soon as I saw the title I just I kind of started crying standing there because I was like that’s it that’s exactly what I’m feeling right now everything is teeth yeah like to see it in such simple language did something to my brain because it felt like such a big un confin thing I love that so much and here it was in three simple words so I just I was a mess and I just stood there and I read the book cover to cover it’s a graphic novel Memoir and it’s just so visceral and heavy but in a light way and she uses just the most simple beautiful words and the illustrations um is it Joe Sumer are just so perfect with it and it it’s just such an it’s such a beautiful way to uncomplicate such a complicated thing like grief it’s not specific to grief it touches on Grief and loss um but just all these undefinable things kind of currents throughout your life yeah and it was just the perfect thing at the perfect time yeah and um that was my spark that was like oh and then I went home and filled a journal with everything that I needed to say to my mom say to myself y just get out of my head because I could not bear to carry it anymore and then doing that it made me remember why I love writing in words so much

like being able to communicate your feelings and the words are just so such beautiful things you know and it just I fell in love with writing again at a time when I didn’t loving anything felt dangerous and scary I get that yeah so any that’s what I think is so beautiful about um whether it’s something like photography or something like writing finding that thing that makes you realize that it’s okay to wel to love things again or after you’ve been hurt so much because of yeah loving someone so much it it’s a beautiful thing and um I’m excited to read it yeah you can borrow that we can trade yeah um so I I think that was a big help in getting back to work too it’s having the time to do that though like that’s what people need and I I think it’s really sad when and I think you find it more in the corporate sphere than you do in small business or small agencies though it can be there too just this like you got to get back to it immediately you have to be like this big producer of ideas and creativity and output yeah and you’re like I have no input I have nothing to give back to you right now yeah and so just having that very human understanding of what it’s like to grieve yeah I mean nearly everybody on the planet has grieved yeah so it’s like you should have some kind of understanding of it this was my first big grief like I had never like I’ve lost people but never like this never to the point where I’m like oh this is going to ruin my life this is going to ruin my life like I it will never be the same after this like I didn’t I didn’t understand until now yeah so I do think there are some people who like really get it and some people who might not yet that’s true um the the degree of grief may not be but I still think everyone can empathize I still think you can still empathize and be like wow that sounds bad sounds bad sounds like you might need an extra day even even if you haven’t been through it you can be like I don’t want that for me yeah I do not want that for me yeah um and maybe be a little Kinder about you know your expectations and and even as a coworker if you know someone you know that you’re working with like your expectations of you know maybe they’re going to be a little snarly maybe they’re not going to be as um I don’t know maybe they’re not going to have as much to offer yeah right away when they come back like the first I I remember the first week you came back you were here but you weren’t I was not you weren’t here in any way that really I was like that was okay though and I don’t remember if I said it to you or if I said to someone else I’ve said it to a couple people I’m just like if people love me through this like I man like I will know who my people are cuz I I’m being a nightmare and I know it and also I don’t care this is but you but it was fine like we all were like hey she’s here MH that’s a really which is all I can it’s all I’ve got right and see you gave 100% yeah regardless like it that was we knew that was logically I don’t want to be being a hurtful jerk to people that I care about or to anyone but like yeah no on a real level I’m just like when you’re in that head space you’re just kind of like I don’t care about anything yeah and I’m just I’m so much in survival mode that I’m just like if I must be doing anything whether that’s grocery shopping or like getting dressed for the day or sending out an email I am doing it because I must and I have the crappiest attitude while I’m doing it until I can build up like a better attitude I’m just doing it out of obligation and that’s enough for now and everyone like and it it has meant everything to me the patience that people have shown through it while I was here and also before like I I was able to like have a lot of sense of relief because people like Maddie were just like I will go do this matter report for you don’t worry about it and not only like I’ll do it for you but like did it and did it well and like I didn’t have to worry if she was going to screw it up like she was on it and she did it and she did a great job and she made my my clients happy and I’m just like that meant a lot too knowing I had people I could rely on to kind of take over for me for a second do a good job and not be just like pestering me and messing it up or like you know what I’m saying like she like that meant a lot too and for Bill to just be like do whatever you got to do we’ll leave you alone don’t worry like that meant lot meant a lot too like my my other family members like did not necessarily have that same level of um like help my mom only got 5 days off you know and she’s a teacher so it’s like she’s back to taking care of kids and there’s no amount of like being a jerk for her there’s not like the professional I’m you know I’m fortunate here that I have people that can just be like leave Chrissy alone stay out of the basement the basement is scary place right now St out of it but but for her look at her just let her breathe yeah corner but for her that was not an option it’s like you can’t go around being a monster to children like unless you’re me so if you have to put on a facade during the day and that’s a tremendous like anyone who is working with somebody who’s going through this right now and um are dealing with it like understand the effort like appreciate it and just take whatever they whatever they can do let it be enough don’t expect more and if you’re going through it and have to put on a facade I think make sure you make the time you have that space yeah that you need to just be completely honest about where you’re at and okay you can’t do it during business hours off hours just yeah let it go because you can’t compartmentalize yeah that stuff yeah because it’s just going to you’re an open wound like you’re walking around and you’re just this giant raw open wound for so long and everybody’s gonna irritate you everybody even well-meaning friends are going to say things that just make you want to scream and it’s all of that has to go somewhere yeah so yeah you got to make the space to do it and if your boss isn’t giving you the time off to do it you know find find those off hours my my sister was so fortunate her co-workers like were so kind and donated something like four weeks of their time off to her oh my God amazing isn’t that amazing that’s amazing yeah I was like man that’s incredible they all came to my dad’s funeral like it was just amazing I was so happy for her see do more of that do more of that be those kind of people because life is horrible it’s hard I mean okay life in general is isn’t horrible I take that back but yeah grief is hard grief is terrible yeah be like that yeah I was really impressed by that that meant a lot to me yeah that’s amazing yeah we need more people like that yes and we need more like CEOs like Bill yes who are actual human beings thank you to that man thank you to that man he seriously is doing work here he really is he really he tolerates a lot we tolerate some too but he puts up with a lot of nonsense we were antagonizing him during a meeting yesterday just being so foolish I was doing that solely to make Christie laugh yeah and it worked like I I think that’s the first time I have laughed again back in the office and it was and it was it was like it felt good like just I we I needed it just so it was worth it Bill okay he didn’t say anything I know I no I was kind of mad so okay A little backstory Tim wasn’t having it so I brought in some uh little presents fory tell everyone about Jeff so for we should get him we should have brought him over so I’ll go get him tell everyone about Jeff I’ll go get him so um I was doing some online shopping and I I wanted to get Christy some gifts before she came back into the office to kind of make the office a more cheerful fun place and Christy and I have a not so Secret Love of faux fur so I had found this I guess it’s a rug I guess it’s a rug I guess that’s what it’s supposed to be but I was thinking it was like a throw for the back of her chair to make her feel really bougie and um this is

online it did not look like Donald Trump’s hairpiece it looked very different online and it came in and I was like this is terrifying oh my God that looks like someone got scalped but then my immediate was thought thought after that was okay his name is Jeff yeah and we’re going to do so many things with him yeah I knew he was going to be featured in a lot of our photos and videos because he’s just so horrifying I can’t even look at you right now so yesterday he’s so horrifying I love him so much he’s our new pet so it’s so cold down here in the basement like upstairs the heat works great for everybody and somehow it just doesn’t trickle down down here we have a bay door and so the insulation is not great and we live in space heater land so I was just like I’m so cold I’m going to wear Jeff yeah and so I I put him under my shirt and then had like Jeff hair I can put a picture on the screen yeah why don’t we sh we can share a picture watch on YouTube if you’re not watching on YouTube watch on YouTube you can see the photo and Bill Bill and Tim were on this oh sorry keep going Bill and Tim were on this really big client call well big in the sense it was one of our bigger clients and and we just decided we were going to go harass them and see if we can get them to laugh on their Zoom call which is not the most professional CU Tim has a glass door and bill has a window in his door so we’re were like perfect we’re going to get these guys to lose it on the call um so they both have their door shut but so I walked upstairs and Tim would not look at me he was so like he was like I know that call nonsense is happening and I refused to look up of the window of his door well the glass and I’m just like she’s just popping out chest hair chest hair and then it’s coming out the bottom of my shirt it just it was so obnoxious and gross and just hideous and he finally looked up and he lost it so I was like yes mission accomplished bill I had to stand up on a chair on a rolly chair right cuz don’t tell my husband I just had surgery and be like what did you

do but he couldn’t really see all he could see was like the chest hair part coming out of my collar and um so I’m like I got to like pretend that I’m dusting the top of his I got to stand on something so I grabbed Maddie’s slipper and we got one of the chairs and I stood up so the only thing in the window is my torso like he couldn’t miss it no reaction so I think he also was like I’m not looking at it’s kind of like it’s kind of like encouraging a child’s bad behavior like I can’t acknowledge this or the child will double down do not engage and we are being children and he’s just like this isn’t funny I can’t let them know this is funny or cute because they will double down they will do this more they’ll do this like it does not take much and so he was just in total dad form he was just like side eye look away back to business y and I’m like ooh this just inspires me to be worse we’re like we are in trouble later for sure this is a challenge though I’m taking this as a challenge oh so immature so stupid I was going to say there’s a picture of me I can put on the screen too of me sitting at screaming into Jeff yeah he’s so useful like what did we do without him yeah take na naps on him he’s just I can’t decide if he’s like a dog or highland cow or just he’s just our pet rock just pet Ro’s our pet Ro he’s our pet rock so so maybe consider getting your grieving coworker a pet an office pet an office pet rock that is terrifying that reminds you of Donald well I don’t like that part of it so much we don’t need that part of it and yet here we are I know so what’s coming for the podcast so we’re so excited about the start of our newsletter we are going to be starting a newsletter yes so more of this yeah in printed form which isn’t as exciting we get it we won’t annoy you we get it maybe we’ll put pictures of us in there like if this isn’t annoying you yet like it’s not GNA be annoying it’ll be fun to read in copy form it couldn’t possibly we’re not we’re not um we’re not big fans of making marketing boring yeah because it can be very stuffy very quick and I don’t think anybody in our office is stuffy like we couldn’t we well I’ve worked it out of some people that’s true you might have started that way I broke Tim in like Fast Tim was all business when he’s a totally different person though all business and now he’s we really need to get his wife on here to interview to be like what are the differences you’ve seen in Tim since he started working here how has marketing changed your life has it been the marketing how is me harassing Tim change your life

Simone no just kidding kind of but I’m really excited about the newsletter because we’re going to be um it’s going to be like Snippets of insights and tips for marketing but extra info extra things you’re not getting here and an extra window into our culture like yeah the way we we market and the Personalities in this office are what make this yeah fun yeah so it I I don’t think I would be I did marketing on my own for a while um when I had my own business for over a decade I did all of it myself yeah websites printing yeah everything photography yeah um and design but the idea of working for a marketing agency was just like yeah oh my God I’m gonna choke on corporate yeah and it was never attractive to me yeah until bill was like hey come work for me and I was like well I know you’re unconventional yeah yeah and so getting an inside look into what that can look like yeah is good and I think um yeah it definitely looks different everywhere but for us like I I like people knowing like we have a lot of different listeners like I’ve had like we have clients that listen we have friends that listen we have randos that listen thank you randos um love you um I’m hoping we grow more from this episode and from the podcast ion from the American Cancer Society please stick around for more but um yeah I think it’s a good it’s just a good look into some of our company culture and just knowing that um you know we do things a little bit differently from other agencies but um it’s the same work but it’s done different you know what I mean yeah there’s not a huge yeah you know there’s not there is a lot to marketing but it’s like the same pieces the same puzzle pieces but ours just are cut different and we’ve talked about this a lot like go back and watch other like old episodes like we’ve talked about this a lot just like the difference between how we operate here you know and how it works for us and how um we how much fun we have we have fun and yet we put out really good work so that’s but that’s that’s like the biggest concept that is so hard for people to grasp is that we all deeply enjoy hanging out with each other but also just have fun with the work yeah not in we’re not careless with the client work you know you know what I mean fun without being careless but we actually can have fun doing it and I think it just astonishes so many people and that we we often talk a lot about how we have people ask us all the time what do you guys do yeah so I haven’t gotten it as much I haven’t either lately since we’ve had I think we burned it out of people right just like stop asking me that look this is I think having a look into it has helped I really do I really do but because people see that we enjoy our work so much they’re like how are you working because the concept of act enjoying your work is still so foreign to so many people especially in this industry is shocking to meor you have to be enjoying it find a perspective or a way to do this that keeps that spark and that you actually it’s not painful we keep clients because of it I’ll tell you that like they love our stupid ugly sweater parties and you know things that we do they think it’s they think it’s fun they think it’s funny they it keeps a really like healthy culture and in in um relationship with our clients we have whole episode on that like like um anyway we could talk about this for hours we already have but um moving forward new things are coming we have talked please just know like we’ve talked in depth about how we can make this better for our audience like how we can make like improve this this is not just like we’ve sat down and just not fought this out like we’re just chatting like we we have strategy behind this we’re constant like analyzing the analytics like we want this to be helpful to specific people for you and we are open to feedback so there is a plan and purpose behind this in addition to being stupid and having fun well before like our podcast is still kind of in its infancy it is honestly it really is it hasn’t even been a year right and we had so much happen like I missed the launch day because that’s when my health totally went in the crapper and things started for me and got serious real fast and so then I was on medical leave surgery so everything got shunted to you instead of this being a collaboration and partnership like we were supposed to do this together so then she took it on in the meantime her dad is dying from cancer and she’s like she said you know you were his primary caregiver so we had all these things that just stopped us from from realizing all of the things that we wanted to do with this podcast and so we kind of like you know built it up a little bit and tried to like you know we were kind of building with sand you know instead of yeah while sinking in the quick sand right right so we have just so many things going against us this first year so now that you know you’re coming back to life and I’m just about out of my recovery and able to I’m just so ready like we both we’re in such a creatively dormant period yeah that now it’s just like we’re busting with energy and ideas and we’re like finally we can realize what we wanted to do from the beginning yeah so we’re very very excited about moving forward with it and yeah we hope that everybody else keep keeps like stays with us the ones who have found us initially and if you’re finding us for the first time with this specific episode like we’re very excited that you found us and we hope that thank you for being here you enjoy it too yeah so comment like subscribe review do all the things whatever platform you’re on right now we would just love you forever and ever and ever if you did all those things for the comments especially every time like whenever we get comments like like comment whatever you want like I I love it I get excited um we’ve gotten a few like really it doesn’t take much to get us excited yeah it really doesn’t it doesn’t but it makes me really happy guys I haven’t a lot of Happiness these last few months like help Christy keep her spark back guys I’ve been really sad for a long time trying to get the happy back you’re I hear like what is that what is that artist like with the really sad music um with the puppies what I have zero clue say ala Moret it’s not Elena Moret name one song that the arms of the Angel playing in the arms of the Angel playing um and I’m and I’m just like with your comment alone you can help this girl start to recover from Sarah ml thank you with your comment and like And subscribe you can help in the aiding of healing this girl our outro is going to be so for this episode okay we’re Crossing Lines now so sorry this is your first impression of us welcome love you so much okay we’re gonna run over time now so um love you so much we’ll be back next week we have to well maybe not us but it could be someone it could be bill it will be us again yeah it will be us we’ll be back someone will be back we’ll be back okay love you goodbye